Lancaster Round Trip
January 17th, 2007 | 
Author: This evening, Theo and I took a drive down to Lancaster, SC, and back. Its the closest ‘city’ to us being about 40 minutes round trip. To tell you the truth, most of the trip I struggled with pain and hurt. Nothing physical, just emotional. I debated on even blogging about this because of the nature of this subject but this entire website is about our journey and I want you to have the best insight to our whole missionary deal.
Let me first explain an expectation I had that led to the strike of pain today. 100% of the finances that will sustain us and our ministry on the field will strictly come from the giving of others. To sum it up, we will need $3,000 per month in total pledges from all of our partners. We deem these ‘on-going’ financial partners versus the one-time gift partners. When we decided to become missionaries and subsequently sign up with our missions agency, the first place we looked to with hope of on-going support is our home church. That expectation began late in 2005 and its conclusion finally came just hours ago.
Our missions pastor called us on the phone to update us on the missions committee’s decision as to how they were going to support us. They sent in a one-time gift at the end of last month for us. It was a significant amount of money. There’s a good chance you may be thinking about how ungrateful I am. That is not the case and that is not what I want to communicate. I am very grateful that our church decided to give us financial support. I truly am. Unfortunately, we can’t count their gift toward our 100% monthly need because it isn’t on-going. The committee cannot commit to anything on-going with us at this point.
If you know what our home church is, and especially if you attend there, DO NOT carry this beyond me. These are thoughts and feelings on my inside but way bigger than them is a deep love and support for our church. God is on the move there and I vow to support my leaders even if I disagree or am hurt by decision(s). Be loyal.
This is a serious learning time for me because I do want to be grateful and see how God orchestrates our entire path. It is just moments like this that are hard when one of the more ‘definite’ sources of long-term support falls into the one-time gift category.
God’s got all this in check. [translated: God is sovereign. Nothing catches Him off guard.]
I just want to do the right thing. I just want to feel the right thing. I don’t want to hurt. I don’t like to feel like this. I want God to mold my perspective into what He wants it to be.
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Jonathan,
One of the incredible things about blogs is the way people who don’t know one another are able to interact. You don’t know me. I don’t know you. But, I do know what you are faced with at this time. This faith-journey you are taking is one that my wife and I started way back in 1980.
I don’t have any great bits of wisdom to offer you, except this one thing: Hold on to what you’ve got! By that I’m not talking about anything material or monetary. What I’m talking about is that passion that is so clearly full to over flowing in your heart. There will be ups and downs, surprise blessings and unexpected disappointments. Regardless of these, perhaps even in spite of these, keep your head and heart focused on the God-glorifying ministry you are doing. You are right: God is sovereign. Also, in the words of one of my favorite deacons: God will provide!
Blessings to you and yours,
-bill
Bill – You’re awesome. Words such as these never get old or played out. Your encouragement helps feed that passion.
Thanks for your godly presence in the cyber world! –> http://www.spiritualoasis.wordpress.com
Blessings to you as well,
Jonathan
Hi Jonathon,
Just checking out your blog over here. I had to comment because we are going through the same types of things. Sounds like you have the right perspective.
For me the biggest issue has been remaining determined to not only have a strong faith in God during the times of blessing, as well as the times of drought. It really bugs me that even though I am consciously aware that I should be grateful, thankful, humbled, … there under the service is my disappointment and desire for more success in this fundraising business.
Now, I think of it as soul-work. Your success is not dependent on those possible partners out there. It is not even dependent on yourself. Blame it on the Lord. Blame your success on the Lord and give Him praise. Blame your failure at fundraising on the Lord, and give Him the praise for that. Then tell Him that you submit to His plans for your life and that you trust Him, whatever happens. And then get up continue on in faith.
The big changes are mainly in the missionary doing the fundraising. God is using this process to shape us. (And it kinda hurts a little doesn’t it.)