Frustration of a New Father
March 20th, 2008 | 
Author: Dealing with a crying baby is hard for me. In most problematic situations, I’m usually cool-headed and focused. Once Asher starts bawling and literally shrieking in my arms and nothing I do seems to help, frustration rushes in. Dana and I have discussed it and initially thought it was fueled by my inability to solve the problem. Looking at it further, I discovered it is not only not being able to solve it, but even knowing what to do next. Somewhat of an overwhelmed frustration.
So intense the frustration has been that at moments I just wanted to shake the little guy. That will never happen but I don’t like the fact that my frustration drove that kind of desire in me. He is my fragile, depends-on-us-for-life newborn son and just picturing myself hurting him sickens me to the core.
My resolve to this boiling frustration is to take my ‘water off the burner’ by focusing on my highest desires… to protect, take care of and love him; not submitting to emotion-driven irrationality and malice.
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Well done for being so honest!
You’re not alone, far from it. I’ve had similar struggles but praise god got through unscathed (me and the kids) and have a gorgeous family.
Hang in there and don’t let the locusts rob you of the blessing your family really are!
Lots of love
Dean & Gang
Almost universally new parents experience that terrible moment when they realize what my drive someone to hurt their own child. For a Christian, it is a shocking reminder of how we are flawed and sinners (forgiven, redeemed, and being sanctified, but sinners none the less. There have been times with our kids when I literally had to deposit them somehere safe and leave the room. There have been times when I was far more harsh than I should have been. I know that God uses me in my weakness. I hate seeing my weakness bring sorrow to my kids. The honesty you show here is you greatest protection against allowing the sinful nature to take over! For we confess our sins and he is faithful and just to forgive us and make us new.
Keep up the good work.
Kent